The Stranger In My Home

My little townhome. My city-life structure. My comfort. My peace. My tranquility. The place where my self-expression shines. Where relationships have grown and friendships have thrived. Where thousands of memories have been made and deep laughs have left me breathless. Where the warmth and coziness hits me as soon as I lay eyes on her. One of the most stable and continuous things I have had in my life for the past three years. My humble abode. My home…..no longer feels quite like a home. While I know this is my space, it is me inside and out, created from scratch, it just doesn’t quite feel the same. Something is off upon my return from Costa Rica. A longing to return there. There, felt like home. There, felt like where we’re supposed to be. Where we can escape the chaos of America. Where we can escape the people, the need for always having more. The thought of never having enough or always wanting what someone else has and constantly working to hardly get anywhere. Where life is just far too expensive that it’s hard for young people, like myself to survive even making what used to be a decent salary. American just….isn’t for me anymore. I need a more simple life. Where we can be less privileged and not have so many “things” anymore. Where we can just exist in nature. Enjoy our surroundings and not constantly worry and struggle. Where my mind can run free and I can feel free. Not bogged down by the pressures the American society puts on us. Simplicity. I long for simplicity. I long to be able to provide a unique and fun experience for my family in the future. Where my mother, sister, nephew and other family can come escape from and see that you don’t need all the glitz, glamour and gadgets to be happy. That just being with the people you love and surround my nature, is enough. Where they can come to learn new cultural styles and embrace a slower pace. Where hanging your clothes out to dry on the line is normal. Oh, how I would love to hang and take down my clothes on the line everyday, like I used to with my mother and grandmothers when I was little. 

As we go through changes in life, we change. We long for different things. New experiences. New places. To do things outside of our comfort zone. I have reached that point. Where my townhome no longer provides what it used to. Where my needs have changed and instead of easy city access and the loud ass highway above my head, I long for quietness. I long for simplicity. 

I am determined now more than ever to be back to Costa Rica as soon as possible. To make my dreams come true and work remotely, grow my company and be able to live there full time, coming back to America to visit every few months. To immerse myself in a new culture and learn a new language. To meet new people with similar desires and who are so incredibly kind without even knowing you. Where a smile from a stranger warms my heart. Not these fucking idiots who feel so entitled and opinionated on shit that doesn’t even involve them. I have such a burning hate for them now. They disgust me to a degree. 

My future home is in Cartago with the love of my life. The goal is to be there by maximum, 2 years. I can’t wait to be free in Costa Rica.