She Came to Visit Me

Last night, Ela came to visit us.  I could feel her big body in bed with us.  On the right side up by the pillows where her head would often lay, facing me as she dozed off to sleep.  I wasn't thinking of her when I crawled in bed, but as soon as I got comfortable, she appeared. With Zu taking up the left side of the bed and Keeks on my right, a straggling paw barley touching me, just so she could feel I was there, without letting our body heat overtake I felt Ela contact me through that tiny little paw. All of a sudden, my thoughts of nothingness turned into swirling memories of my sweet girl. I could feel her big, mushy body through the texture of my pillow. I could feel her weight on the right side of the bed. All 94lbs. of it. It's like the side of the bed sank down like it used to. I was overwhelmed with emotions. From happy to sad to amazed to heart-broken. Her presence made me smile with joy but I longed for her to be there with me, in the flesh, once again.  To kiss that sweet head just one for time. To grab that long snoot and just kiss it all over. A struggling emotional battle. I could feel her long face staring at me from the pillow beside me as I wept. Mainly because my sobbing was keeping her from sleeping. I could feel the warmth of her body, the softness of her skin below where her big mama nipples hung. It was just like I always remembered. A specific feeling only a mother would know. I told her how much I missed her and that she is always welcome in this bed whenever she pleased.  I felt her hop off the bed, as she often would. And the moment was gone. I think my continuous weeping and body heat from it all made her get too hot, so she went into the guest bedroom, her favorite spot.